I was running around with no shoes on looking like a vagrant
for a life just torn from me(due to sudden relocation)
I lived in a cave off the road(with someone)
It was furnished upon entering(but I don’t know why or where I was before)
Maybe I lived in a room in which housed at least 5 people in total(there’s not enough room I don’t want to share a dresser my roommate complains of losing his wi-fi)
It’s getting late as I scramble through in recognizable streets of what I know is Regina(shoeless,dishevelled)
I am scared of the night.
everywhere I go night creeps closer
I try to make it back to my cave but I am looking for a place(looking for a place I worked before the move)
on a street corner I want to cross a busy street, sky is darkening into that evening time blue, everything is tinged with the onset of a navy sky —-
People ask me where I’m going, a rough girl in a pink shirt(there are at least two others with her)
I respond nervously that I don’t need a ride.
They take it personally
I am at that point crossing right to my cave/house
It has no door no lock they saw me go in
I enter the safety of home knowing that I will have curious and unfriendly intruders
Project outward into the space around you and be it.
I once knew that I was awesome
I’m a bit jaded or just
in some space like a fluttering leaf
between resting places
(It seems like these places might just be frequent and fleeting)
(I feel at home in this shared laugh)
(I feel at home in the flight of the bird)
(I feel at home in the billowing clouds of the bluesky)
(I feel at home in a daze with my friends)
I land for a moment but the wind lifts me again.
I become winded, we are looking at each other as the shopping cart pushes forward, I feel like a kid
In this moment I see that you are my friend.
In this moment I feel infinite.
Dancing in an empty lot one early fall
eschewing worries of injury or judgement
Like a kid only more free.
I’m glad I fell because it proved to be less painful than I imagined falling would be
I’ve got a problem
My sheets are ice cold.
The month’s days are numbered,
suddenly, I want to hold on to
what I have and maybe something else
Afraid of change or afraid of being carried away?
I want to find my time where everything is OK and I feel content
It feels like life is a constant struggle against
rough tide - - -
At least I know it can’t push me back to the
beach - - -
I know everyone struggles but when can we just float away?
This creaking house,
phantom footsteps fall on the uninhabited floor above,
an attic housing fifty kilometer per hour wind, It
moves the house and wants to push through the windows and I’m
unsettled as usual, my
emotions are deviant, opposing each other(many winds blowing, discordant and various)
I wanted you to know me.
I hope I don’t
blow my windows through)
It’s all part of one thing
I’m supposed to die and I will
just as the evening sky strikes me,
the sunset will take my breath.
It’s all the same.
It’s a hot day. Tracy and Spencer are here I
have been feeling fairly content.
The sun could bake me in an instant.
I just realized everything is just as confusing as ever.
Everything has changed yet its always been the same.
My mind could change in an instant.
I’m never and always the same as ever and never not different, I’ve
found myself in many situations taking the same stance/reacting as perhaps a separate individual might.
an aphid landed on this page and left just as my pen pressed down to draw a circle around it.
Bright green sunshine that wont be captured is there in the
flicker of an instant but you can’t isolate it within a circled line - - -
Green grass soaks in sunshine as birds flit,
Wind blows my hair and
maybe I’m happy