RED no more shrinking, facing with a [RED] heart beating strong, facing the world, swallowing my heart, opening my eyes, flashing beaming RED
My life is a series of quick ups and downs, moments of fleeting confidence and love, abysmal depths of insecurity Sometimes I smile just basking in the warm sun in just being me, enjoying being me I laugh Sometimes I fade The ground I walk on is not constant I feel it drop into black beneath me when I need it but by then I don’t feel the need to want it I let myself sink Sometimes the clouds...
Clouds in the sky like the ghosts of distant mountainscapes, a pause, a fogginess of mind: a cause, a factor in silence In my head mountainscapes bloom in vast skies, snowy tips in clarity —- Turn my eyes from kaleidoscope lids to shifting skies in a windows-view —- [I can only communicate this to you here and I hope I do well
I want to be the spindles of light that reach and spread from the concentrated bulb of the lamppost That thing you know is beauty and you want to hold it and keep it forever —- That thing that slips away —- Maybe someday you will be it. Maybe to someone you already are.
If you look to the sky you can see more A canvas for things without names in language
Dreamless(?) eyes look out the window at the trees passing by —- diverging arms reaching, tangling —- a one-eighty degree view of a spinning motionless tree. Embraced by each body of flaking bark, Awakened with every rotation of a grounded tree -
I feel a loss. a film over my vision i feel a loss of something i may ormay not have had i may ormay not have believed i had the worlds a flat picture as flat and dull and the emotional landsape influencing it.
—-trees that hold hands and grow together, this tree reaches out its boughs and touches none —-two people sit quietly t r o e g h e t -this one gazes out afraid to connect; eyes wild and mind loud.
but when I see the moon—- but when I see the moon up there—-
I hope to see you again. in a moment of navigating this world alone, again
As vastly white as the blustering fields out there — pushing frost composing air — - A body frozen in inertia. A frozen body disconnected in a mirror. Wind blows over a snowbank over endless lines of shifting white. Wind blows biting particles over shifting lines of empty —-
red with horns i hunch over and belch my stomach drops with a -
Dream Melodies, graces grasp each other, moulded and attached, growing into one another with hands that clasp through softer regions three pixies, hair twining emerge from the depth, soft flesh on soft flesh, pressed there will be no day tomorrow only this smooth feminine harmony undulating in the velvet black.
Giantess dream a spectacular female vision skin of bruised mauve thighs to crush a neck, you hunch gracelessly and seduce by your size, your strange sensuality; your puckered skin grotesque but tactile, a curious hand would reach. Run a hand over the length of your landscape, Woman.
I found you in a wall, ghost I found you in a wall, shrouded I saw a cyan shadow, I saw a cyan shadow through the wall. I loved you in the flesh, ghost Though I loved you I loved you not You put me in a wall, Black was your shadow through the wall. - - — - - - — - - - — - - Now through layers of trees and fog, mist traces two figures of vague dreamt lovers half-known and...
put me away. put me away show me a face. go away show me a dream face a dreamt face. the black is silken soft the black is censored soft like me like you like that touch censored soft like this hand on here this hand on me there- is no hand put me somewhere else somewhere red and moist put me in a party put me in a wall put me in the lively dirt put me in the wall where I stand rigid with nude...
I was lost in a field of red and w h i t e highways on all sides, congealed tufts and clouds—- things on my mind—- I feel paved over and changed Cemented to the [ teeth ]I’m bound —-standing on a manhole in the middle of an intersection —-standing on a manhole on the pivot of an endless concrete vista —-I walk along a highway //smashed to ...
-Suddenly, stop —- it comes amorphous, dark halt- in a room dim made strange: there in every indefinite form Strewn on chair and floor curved in a corner it drags forth-Suddenly, stop.
Things— I see and want to hold: take with me—- Things— That I do not know: ride with me — they are within me—- Things that want to be something. Things that wish they were what they are.
Sometimes I feel as if I may shatter and expose the space which I occupy.
The hollow echo of a warm tone from the frost of the city streets and a stranger’s smile lingering in mind—— I gave him two bucks but I’d give a whole lot more to keep that feeling with me— - to feel that way to hear that sound to feel this night again— - - - - -
I’m shuffling running into things I’m shuffling running into things What do you see? Soft boots on dust/white floors, shuffling running into things What do you see? Soft boots on dust/white floors, shuffling running into things What do you see? Sharp turn of black coat/fanned hair, shuffled girl powdered in motion shuffling, running into things
All you show is your professionalism but iwannaseesome SCREAMINGandCHESTBEATING ——-! I wanna know what keeps you awake at night. I wanna know what makes you give in and call it a day.
Depression: I hate my limitations. My body pinches and confines a small and fragile housing of what’s infinite, a trapped fragment of this strange fabric.
I’m a crushed can my breath catches in my lungs.
As much life as I see in this face I see death =
A night sky I know. lit by, centralized vibrations of light that draw the eye like repelling magnets; Golden shifting filaments from stark white irises woven in a plexus of liquid rainbow circuits and wheels of ultramarine.
Suddenly I am awakened by the touch of a cloud’s hand by the touch of a yellow leaf to the grass; Suddenly I am awakened by the languid smoke by the hanging scent of those autumn fires.
You have been lost in my crumbling walls for quite some time. Pour out like the fire you are!
There’s this thing that happens to me on road trips where, on the brink of sleep or waking I have these daydreams so vivid so lucid so plastic colors, patterns play on the darks of my closed eyelids shifting, complex, bell-clear and neon-bright they turn and change, smooth color transitions as the trees pass me through the window bright green and pixellated on an 8-bit feild of vast...
I want to be your pretty girl again (PRETTY BIRD) I wish you’d keep me in that cage again (NEVERMIND) I saw you today you barely smiled but you looked my way. To you, my loneliness sends me back from time, to time. I want to be a pretty girl again but my longings are lies, and the only cage I’m living in now is mine.
All I can really do is move around and hope that I trip on something; This life’s a stab in the dark when you don’t know what you’re looking for. All I can really do is hear the soundsaround me and hope that I find something to tune in to; This life is rough without little things like that.
I do not trust this cold hand after previous imaginings of a faces fade-in breaking darkness down into something else. My arm crooks around a corner. Cold. The corner of my eye something was there. I’m sorry,i’m soury ha ha not, for what? you’re everywhere I look and touch now in every sliver of shade in the deepest black your pixels can form and organic you seem you are?...
The day goes on nothing gets done the food I eat is insufficient, I’m insufficient I feel as light as air in the head I could almost fly with whiteout pain An alarm goes off to tell me to take a pill I no longer need when all I want is a goddamn cigarette and some fresh air but that tumor just won’t let up my head weighs a tonne my neck breaks. Nothing works. Not even me.
I think I’m in love with you your words needn’t grow on me they are perfection already I wish they were mine but they are yours You draw me in you’re perfection, maybe in another life we fuse together but I can’t reach you at arm’s length Maybe I’m incomplete maybe I know I am maybe you know too? If I could choose anyone to connect to it would be you but...
My feet are weary but can only stay in one place for so long the places where they carry me curdle I must move on to the new to the not necessarily brighter until I find a comfort a home somewhere someone something keeping me there. Until then my feet will continue to wander.
day in, day out day in, day out day in, day out day in, day out day in, day out day in, day out day in, day out We are interested in smaller parts. The week goes by with the smallest of retrospective remarks.
A cat’s footsteps on wet grass before a mirror. No reflection.
I’m a body, I’m a thought. I’m a voice, I’m a body.
I’m uninspired everything tastes of porridge and ulcers. give me something to chew on or something with a little color or a little promise. My brain is white. It’s snowing in here. Where I’m going it’s snowing it’s snowing everywhere and do I even know where I’m going? give me something(like food) to chew on. This hibernation could use a few ...
the holes on the ceiling tiles thats all i dont like the holes on the ceiling tiles thats all i dont like im alone but above me footsteps fall hear that sound on nearby street of strange person in strange city going somewhere strange the wind blows through the cracks the power fluctuates barely noticed i can move my eyes i can move my pen i can fill my lungs with air my blood circulates i feel...
I beg your pardon, but I ever so briefly lost my mind and lost my way. Could you kindly redirect me to the place where I was before?
The world I see shakes It’s real it’s mine? This apartment is mine? I rip out my innards for all I have. I want to smoke something like a cigarette. Give me something in my hands or on my lips. I don’t want what I have. Funny, I have your devotion a thing more real than anything I can see or touch but it will never be enough for me.
I’m sick of it you’re not who I love Wasting your time away and mine. My brain tied in knots and if not confined by my skull would swim, would swim across an ocean you’d swim across an ocean for me and I’m [sick] to even move a finger (am I bad?)
I’m flawed/we’re all flawed? I want beauty I want to feel liquidy like everything around me is warm and fluid I want that with or without somebody. But always preferably with. I used to be a romantic. Now I’m jaded. Everything is cliché. Even this. Now somebody better TURN UP the fucking VOLUME before I exploʊd Or maybe I should just turn it up myself.
What do I want? (a stomach full of rocks) Your saliva all over(the rocks, rolling, rolling) I want to throw up or something.
I’m no prom queen no student council leader, baby.
Sore Rose This pain gets me in the teeth a dull ache in fading crimson, black, and blue, the taste of iron in my mouth. —- But sometimes, I only feel gray.
It’s about time I paint myself red a bold hue of unending fervor intensified years of all that I’ve collected enlarged beautified ? eternal ?
Its new itsfresh itsnew In thetrees on ahill I’m with you but Imnot Imafraid to be But I’ve never beenhere before and it’s b e a u t Iful in the darknight I intermingle in the melancholy and magic like I never havebefore and you’re curledup next to me under the nylonsky until morning when the birds scream to eachother across thetrees I am not sure whether to ...